How to build your confidence after babies! A few tips and tricks from a mom of 4. Don't wait until you're 'fit' to feel good in your own skin. Do it now, the rest will come later... How a mom of 4 kids found confidence again with new clothes!
Thanks for visiting Ivie Lola! I'm Jessica, the owner of this fun online store, and I'm also a mom to 4 beautiful kids!
I am not in perfect shape, and like most moms, my body changed a little after each pregnancy. After each baby I spent months contemplating how I was going to lose the weight, worrying about what other people would think of me if I didn't snap back immediately.
After each pregnancy, I would punish myself for being overweight, by not buying cute clothes, or even clothes that fit, until I was a certain weight or size.
Or, I'd punish myself by buying clothes that were way too small for me, in hopes of motivating myself. The clothes sat in the closet with their tags on for years, and some are still in the bottom of the deepest drawers I have, with the tags still on...
Instead of actually buying clothes that made feel and look good, I would go to WalMart and buy the cheapest decent-looking things I could find, you know, until I lost the weight.
You know what happened? I felt gross all the time. I mean, I went from being a super girly girl that voluntarily wore dresses and skirts to a girl that was just getting by with a pony tail and whatever covered my body the best. Most days I didn't want to go anywhere because I didn't feel cute or presentable! I was holding myself back from things that could contribute to my happiness, because I didn't feel like I was in good enough shape for people to see me.
That was stupid! But you know what makes me sad? I know I'm not alone.
Every time someone comes over to try on clothes, they make comments about all the things they hate about their bodies! It makes me so sad! I don't see the 'flabby arms' or the 'big butt' or the 'long neck'! I really don't! I'm guessing you don't see that in other people either!
You know what? I'm willing to bet that no one sees your flaws except you! I believe we're all too worried about our own flaws to see yours! Trust me! All I see in my clients is beauty! Really! No matter the size! In fact, the realization that no one cared what I looked like was the turning point for me.
It happened about a year ago, after my last baby, I decided not to punish myself anymore! I mean, I had 4 beautiful kids to care for! I was tired of feeling gross and and depressed and I was sick of punishing myself for not being a wonder woman skinny mom.
I started seeing the qualities that make me a great mom and wife and stopped focusing on my weight!
I stopped worrying about being the perfect size and I started buying new things for myself that actually made me feel awesome! I started treating myself like I was treating my kids and hubby! I loved dressing them up and buying them fun new outfits, and I finally started doing it for myself too.
Guess what happened?! I felt awesome! I felt so much more confident and happy! Then this weird thing happened, I was still motivated to get healthy but it became less about how I looked and more about how I felt! I like feeling happy, and new clothes started a chain reaction for me that really did help me to feel better about myself.
I know it probably sounds superficial and silly, coming from a boutique owner. No, I'm not just trying to get you to buy some new clothes from me. I'm simply trying to tell you to stop waiting for the perfect size, or the perfect body to start treating yourself like you deserve to be treated!
Why not spend a little money (I'm not encouraging anyone to go into debt) and get something that makes you feel amazing!? I truly believe that the better you feel about yourself, the more motivated you will to do things that make you feel EVEN better, whether that's exercising more, eating more healthy, going on more dates with your significant other, applying for the job that you really want, or doing more fun outings with your kids!
The clothes you wear really do send a message to the world, but more importantly they can impact your mood and confidence.
I hope you'll start seeing yourself with more forgiving eyes and start loving yourself a little more! You are more than your body, you are smart, talented, kind and loving. You deserve to see the good qualities that make you you, and what others see and like about you!
And maybe, just maybe, treating yourself with clothes that make you feel fabulous will start a chain reaction to getting the happy you back!